How my gluten free journey began

ORIGINALLY POSTED November of 2013  ***since this post, I have been gluten free.  It is a challenge still, but much easier in general.  I do not miss it because I do not miss feeling like crap every day.  I do get "glutened' once in a while and it sucks, but I do my very best to avoid it if I know it is there or possibly there. ***

Here is my journey....


11/21/13
So after each of my children were born I had a crazy thing happen.  My hands would quit working when I first woke up...from a night of sleep or a nap.  I had to use my arms to scoop up my newborns and once I got them settled into nursing, I'd shake my hands and try to bend my fingers while they popped and cracked and eventually "warmed up" and would work.

I asked my doctor about it, thinking maybe it was some crazy post-partum thing, but she had no idea.  It would sort of come and go and wouldn't be as bad after a few months.  So I didn't really investigate it too deeply, I was too busy taking care of babies.  And I should add, my whole life my hands have been really weak. Like "invite someone over for dinner cause it's all cooked and I can't get the pasta sauce open" weak.

Another thing.  I have always had headaches. Often.  I thought it was normal.  Even up to a few months ago I thought it was normal.  Sometimes they were migraine like, most of the time just dull and constant.  So I saw a billboard a couple months ago that basically said "Headaches are not normal" and it was an adv for something...I don't even know what.  But it got me thinking.

Add in that most of my life I have had to use dandruff shampoos, but not for dandruff...they were just the only shampoos that would help heal up these soars I used to get in my hair line.

And of course...GI issues.  But I've already probably over shared.

So multiple things, kind of unassociated and never super horrible.  I just never connected the dots.

Until.

My friend, Whitney.  She shared in our bible study why she was going Gluten Free (a doctors recommendation) and I am not kidding...she described me.

Of course I am a slow study. I didn't do anything about it.  But I did kind of lose my mind regarding my inability to lose the baby weight and so I implored my sister (who is a food freak) to get me on a food plan that would help me reach my goals.  She didn't tell me to go Gluten Free, but the diet basically cut like 90% of gluteny items out of my eating.

And my hands quit hurting.
And my headaches were mostly gone.
And my hair line healed and I didn't have to use chemical shampoo.
And my stomach didn't hurt constantly.

I connected the dots.  But I guess I am still a slow learner...and I wasn't totally convinced.  So once I lost weight. I went back to eating like I had before (smaller portions, I didn't gain back the weight!).

And my hands hurt.
And I had headaches.
And the sores returned.
And my stomach....ug.

I reached a really low low when my hands were hurting so bad that I thought I had Arthritis. And they were visibly swollen and my whole body felt like an old woman when I'd get out of bed in the mornings. I couldn't do my kids car seat buckles.  I was hurting so much.

And finally, I pushed past every excuse and bit of disbelief.

This was only a couple weeks ago.  I have been off of gluten totally for a little over a week.

I feel vulnerable.  I feel scared to eat.  I feel uneducated.  I feel mad at my body.  I feel relieved to know what is going on.  It is a mixed bag of emotions...on top of being a physical issue.

I am giving away the gluten foods in my cupboards, I am cooking it up and serving it to people who don't have my problems, I donated crackers to a non-profit.  I have let the kids have loads of snacks.  Which I will not be replacing.  I think they will benefit from a low-zero gluten existence as well. And I just don't want gluten in my house cause A. self control and B. scared of accidentally grabbing something with gluten in a thoughtless moment.


After only a week of being totally off, my hands work again.  I think the headaches, the sores and the stomach stuff I could probably sort of live with...but I need my hands.  I am hoping after being off of gluten even longer, they will stop clicking too...the pain is gone at least.


So that's my gluten story. It's weird. I never really thought it would be me. But it is.  So now, a new way of living and eating is mandatory and welcomed in many ways as well.

Thanks for reading all of this (if you actually did! ha!)  If you are also dealing with this, please tell me...I need to know who to bug when I have questions.

my journey...where I am today with chemical free living

So listen.  I started using Young Living Essential Oils almost two years ago and since then, I have been on a journey of health and wellness that has surprised even me.

Using the oils to support health and wellness has been one piece of the puzzle. Diet is another (and a huge one that I know I need to do more for) I have to be gluten free because of inflammation.  I'll repost my story with gluten after I post this blog.  Lucas has to be dye free.

We have taken out household cleaners with toxic chemicals.  The day Lucas poured himself a cup of glass cleaner when I was folding laundry the next room over and drank it? yeah. That was the day I decided that. (sigh)

I have addressed my personal care products (shampoo, deodorant, toothpaste, facial cleaners and moisturizers, etc) and the personal care products of my children.

I won't go into a ton of detail cause I don't want to TMI you all out, but I have eliminated chemical filled personal care products during my monthly lady time. (considering doing a blog on it, but it will be links to other people cause I really don't want to go into detail for me, I have some level of privacy still despite social media. haha.)

When things come to light in my life that I need to address, I am trying to do so.  Instead of ignoring it and putting my head in the sand. Which, by the way, is so much easier.  But I am so so so over having my environment control me.  I want to have energy, I want be stress free, I want to live a long healthy life, I want to not wonder what is in what I am using on myself and my kids (personal care products, hello chemical city).

The more I learn, the more responsible I feel to do better.  I know there are huge blindspots still.  But one thing at a time so I can change and adapt at a pace that is sustainable.

So my next foray into my health and the health of my family is diet. I know it. I've know it for a while.  I have put it off, I have taken teeny tiny baby baby steps.  But I have not embraced it.  I don't know what it will look like exactly because I have a lot to learn, but it's on my radar....front and center.   I have a lot to investigate still on that front but there are some really really obvious things that have to change.  Like soda.  Gone.  And (I hate to even think this cause it makes me sad cause I have a love affair with it) milk.  Needs to be gone.  Dairy? I don't know. Maybe.  Cheese isn't good for Lucas in general (annatto) and Judah eats cheese sticks but I rarely eat cheese any more cause cheese was like something I put on stuff....stuff I can't eat any more (or very often, even if the GF version exists it's probably expensive) and really shouldn't be eating either.  I don't think I'd eliminate cheese totally from my kids diets.  They don't need to have the same kind of restrictions as I do (or Lance).

Anyhow, I know I am rambling a bit here about the diet part, but I just needed to get it out of my head and into the universe.  Cause keeping it in my head does no one any good.

I'd love to hear other people's journey with living a more toxic chemical free life....and healthy diet too.  What is your "thing" right now that you are working on or feeling convicted to change?

I chose this photo of myself and my Sister in Love because we were on a bus driving to the Young Living lavender farm in Mona UT at the time.  This last year has been HUGE for myself and Ashley when it comes to these big changes in our families for our health and wellness.  In fact, head on over to her blog, Stories and Toast, if you want to follow along someone else's journey who is "like minded" if this is a topic of interest!

head space

I have been hiring a gal to come and watch my boys for 4 hour blocks of time so I can work uninterrupted and run errands that are easier done alone.  So I was looking forward to today since our sitter was coming.  

Some days have a life of their own though.   I left the house in a hurry so I could get going on my list, only to realize after I arrived at the post office that my purse was still at my house.  So I decided I would just do it later and I'd head to the library instead, I don't need money at the library but I could work.  Only, I got stuck behind a truck that quit working at an intersection where there was a riding lawn mower going.  Which set my allergies off. Glory.  After I finally got around the stalled out truck, I decided I needed a full re-boot.  So I went home, got my purse, got my oils and headed out....again.  There goes an hour of my time and it feels like I accomplished nothing.  Which isn't that big of a deal normally, but when you are on the clock with a sitter, it feels like a crying shame. haha.  

I ended up going to my favorite restaurant that has window bar seating.  I ordered a hummus board and some amazing juice and just gave in to the day.  I did a Periscope (are you on there yet?! come find me! @joyfullyjamie) and enjoyed a meal and tried to build some excitement with a project I am doing with my business builders. My list, flew out the window. lol.  

I needed some head space, to quiet my heart and soul.  And I took it.  I came home early from my outing (I did make it to the post office, again...) and warned the sitter to distract the boys so I could sneak in and hide out in my bedroom for a little while before my time is up.  The day didn't go like I planned, but it was still a wonderful day in the end.  

should I stay or should I go

I had a houseful of guests for 5 days.  It was a very fun and busy time.  I wouldn't have changed anything.  That being said, I am an introvert.  I crave time alone. I think it's actually why I do SO well as a Pilot's wife.  He leaves, I get evenings by myself.  I recharge. 

The irony though, is that quality time is one of my main love languages. It's like I want you to spend time with me so I know you love me, but I need you to leave me alone so I can be human again. haha. Oh man.  Complicated. 

You are my Wylde

I get asked about this a lot, so I'm going to try to put the full story here so anyone who is interested can read up and ask questions if they want.

Lucas Wylde, my now 3 yr old, can't have food dye.  We discovered it last October...the month before he turned 3.  He has been a hard child in many ways for a long time.  Endless energy, very determined and quite the little fearless one.  After he started walking at 9 months and 1 week...my prayer quickly became "please let me keep him alive until his next birthday".  I have called poison control so many times, I have talked to his doctor about head injuries and when I should truly be worried, I have rescued him from the arms of strangers when I turned my back for 1 minute and I have called PA friends to help me figure out how bad his injuries really are.  And for every crazy story I shared on Facebook or on my other blog, there were 10 more that I didn't really feel good about sharing on social media.  I just wanted to keep him alive and unscarred if possible.

So he turned 2 and we were in the middle of selling our house and moving across the country....he was still nursing several times a day and it was a big season of change.  After life started to settle down and we moved into our new house in AZ (so March of 2014) we started potty training.   We finally got into some routines and life was clicking along.  I noticed that he was becoming very aggressive.  Always wanting to fight and punch and kick things. I used to jokingly tell him to "go fight the couch" and he would.  He would take out all of his energy and aggression on it.  He would also do it to me, his brother and anyone around.  I was at my wits end with his aggressive behavior.  We still were nursing which was the only positive touching we had.  He didn't want anyone to hug him or touch him....he only wanted to fight and hurt people.  Potty training was a bit of a disaster because he still at almost 2 1/2 yrs old was having loose BM's. I probably should have clued in that it was an issue, but it was just "normal" for him and I didn't think too much about it.  Eye contact was not happening much either...not that he wouldn't look at us, but it was a crazed look if and when we could get him to keep his eyes in our direction.

Well, I was complaining on Facebook about a hard day we had had and how I just wasn't feeling connected with him and how I wasn't sure what to do about him any more.  I was sharing how the Young Living Essential Oil, Peace and Calming was helping us but I wasn't sure what else I could do.  Thankfully a dear friend of mine spoke up. And I am so grateful she did.  She said that I may want to look into something called the Feingold diet and removing food dye. And then described her own journey with one of her sons. It sounded just like mine.  So I took note of what she shared and I spent several hours reading and researching this diet and why it was helping so many children.  I never have done the full Feingold diet but I decided that I wanted to go dye free and see what would come of it.

So based on my friends advice, we went to Trader Joe and stocked up on snacks (their brand of products are dye free).  I got new candies for potty training and off we went!  It was a very noticeable difference in just 3-4 days.  He would actually sit still next to me and lay his head on my arm.  Something he had never done before.  He let me give him a hug. I was in shock.  He still had his moments and I figured out that minute maid lemon aid had yellow dye in it, so we cut that out (it just didn't occur to me that they would add dye to lemon aid, I mean, it doesn't need it....why?!) and when we did that. He was truly a new child.  He went from impossible to sweet.  I was so so so relieved.  Oh, and for the first time ever, he had normal poop.  Clearly his poor tummy was a mess from the dye.

So that was in October of 2014.  He was so noticeably better that even on a 'bad' day I didn't think to much about it.  I found a natural candy store online to get us through all the holiday baking fun so he wasn't missing out and things were going pretty good.   We finally weaned right after he turned 3...which I never thought I'd nurse him that long, but like I said, it was one of our only positive interactions so I know it was wise and right that we kept that going as long as we did. And it was probably one of the things that was keeping him as healthy as he was considering his body was fighting this battle I didn't even know about for so long.

This is a photo of a print I bought and had framed. I started crying in the middle of a vendor booth when I read it.  Our nursing sessions were our only quiet moments before we adjusted his diet, and now I was finally feeling connected and like he and I were a team....after eliminating the toxins out of his system.   He is still my Lucas Wylde man, it's just more of an "all boy" wild and less of a "I'm afraid you're going to hurt someone or yourself" kind of wild like it had been for so long.

In January of 2015, we decided to put him in preschool.  I was, of course, nervous about the food side of things but the staff was so accommodating and they were already doing such healthy choices to start with.  Well, his first week at school, they served Cheeze-it crackers and he was a maniac.  All of his old behaviors rushed back.  He spent extra time in the potty and he was a mess.  I emailed and asked what the snacks had been and went to town researching.  As it turns out, something like 50% of kids with a food dye reaction, also react to Annatto.  Annatto is natural, made from a seed, but it is what makes cheese yellow and other yellow things yellow.  So now we knew it was also a trigger for him, which eliminated a whole other set of foods and things he could no longer eat.  And kind of explained some of his bad days.

I forgot to check his vitamin at this point and it turns out that every few days, when he would get one of the yellow vitamins, he would have a bad day. His teachers would give me a poor report and he was aggressive and hard again.  I knew it was coming from something he was eating, I just couldn't figure out what it was.  I remember being in Trader Joe (now not a totally safe option because Annatto is considered natural) because we were almost to the bottom of the bottle of vitamins we had.  I, on a whim, decided to check the ingredients (a bit of a new habit really) and I had this sinking feeling in my gut when I realized that Annatto was indeed an ingredient.  It was the final piece of the food puzzle for us.  The very last trace of bad ingredients was finally out of our home.

It is a challenge to do things like attend birthday parties, play dates and go out to eat in new restaurants.  I have to ask people to show me ingredient lists wherever we are so I can assure myself we aren't poisoning him.  (that's what it feels like to me now, deadly as poison and worth avoiding at all costs.)

I think about how people say anger is stored in the liver, and his poor liver was working overtime trying to filter out all of these awful toxins.  And failing.  I ran a zyto scan on him that tells you what Young Living Oils someone needs and all of his had to do with his liver. I was not shocked.

I realized even his tooth paste (dyed bright blue) was not okay any longer.  Thankfully, Young Living has a really great kids tooth paste and a great vitamin that he can have.  I searched high and low and it is next to impossible to find a good multi vitamin for kids that doesn't have Annatto in it.


So it has been a journey.  And I have not done any "official testing" but I promise you, if you give him something he shouldn't have....you don't need anyone to tell you, you can see him change into a different child.  Even he has put together the fact that food dye hurts his tummy.  After a couple times of the neighbor kids sneaking him a treat here and there and paying the price afterwards, he himself knows it isn't worth it.

I am nervous for kindergarten and beyond....so many environments out of my control.  But for now, we have this under control and I am so beyond thankful for discovering it when he was little.  And I am so thankful for my friend who spoke up to me about her own experience.  We can learn so much from each other if we are open.

The Joy of learning to blow up a balloon

I very much remember what it was like to be a kid and learn how to blow up a balloon.  No one else could do it for you, so when you finally achieved it, it was a personal satisfaction like no other. My Judah (in the background) has figured it out today and his baby brother has spent the better part of the day trying with no success.  But oh he is trying! I wish I could do it for him.  But I guess in the grand scheme of things, if I did it for him, he would never know that personal satisfaction that comes from accomplishing it alone.  A good reminder as a mommy that they need to try, try, try, and try some more on a lot of things and I don't need to be the one swooping in doing it for them.  

(how cute are his little cheekers.  wuv wuv wuv that baby boy.)

pretty little place

I have decided to carve out a little corner of the internet for my writing and photos.  I blogged for many years and life led me away from it for a while.  But I love to write as a way to process, so I have missed it greatly.  The last couple years have held a lot of changes for me.  We added a second child to the mix, decided we were done having kids, moved across the country, began using and then made a business out of Young Living Essential Oils, my older son had his first year of kindergarten and now here I am.  I am ready to find my voice again through writing and photography.  So welcome to my pretty little place and I hope you check back often!

It's the fourth of July today and I spent most of it dealing with a migraine (not fun) but thankfully my husband is home and was able to take the reigns so I could rest.  Not the best day I have ever had, but I am grateful I had help and I am feeling a lot better tonight.  We decided not to go fight the crowds for a fireworks show.  Instead we did sparklers in the back yard and found a pretty spot to overlook the valley and see many shows off in the distance.  It has been a good day overall. We have out of town family visiting so of course it's extra busy, but making some really great memories and having a blast doing it.

These boys. I adore them.

Lucas Wylde and Judah Byrd. 

Lucas was apprehensive at first, he was thankful for a brave big brother to lead the way, 

eventually he was doing the sparklers too.  

United States of Awesome!

Be filled with JOY!

The more gratitude in your life, the more contentment. Contentment shouldn't be confused with being complacent.  I am a very motivated and driven person, but I need to find my gratitude in the journey towards my goals or I find myself discouraged easily. My strength to keep moving through obstacles comes from the Lord, the author and finisher of my faith. I find my Joy in Him, Jesus, and he strengthens me. It's a daily journey and it's a messy journey some days. But I will pursue righteousness and kindness (Prov 21:21) and I will find life, righteousness and honor. 
 That is something I can live with.